tonight!

so, apparently the gazillions invitations i sent out to literally EVERYONE I KNEW (for example...family in Minnesota, the Pappas', my high school art teacher...) were not delivered.

awesome.

so here it is, in digital form...


hope to see you there...



p.s...never did finish my painting of Nick. i took down the pathetic post i made right after i realized i wouldn't be able to complete it. Colleen should not write when she is emotional.


~~~~~~~~

this is what happens when you are a tired and emotional girl

i'm feeling a little better, so don't worry.
here's where i had it.



yaay for crazy irrational colleen!

just not enough

well...even after staying up all night i wasn't able to finish it.

the painting of Ashlee just took too long...

...

two paintings in my senior show instead of three...
i know that it probably doesn't mean much to everyone else, but i feel like i'm in a bad dream. ...

i am already so weary Lord, and this meant so so much to me


~~~

it's 22:21. do you know where your painting is...?

well...here's mine...sort of.
so, in 11.5 hours this needs to be finished. YES!! right this moment, Robin, Megan, Phil and his gf are in here working away. i just made some pizza, and we're listening, again, to some pretty nasty hip-hop. but at least it's keeping us energized.
i even recorded a new voice greeting on my phone and turned it off for the night.

i went to Trader Joes for provisions for the all-nighter...

and i already have battle-scars...

oops


back to workkk...

~~~~~

whelmed-over II

yesterday i posted that a person i know at school was hospitalized. his name was Jeff Pan, and he died last night. he was a talented guy with many friends. he had just turned 21 a couple of weeks ago. Dad taught him twice.
Edan knew him...i wish there was something i could do to comfort him and it makes me ache. i didn't really know Jeff...he was in a completely different major than me...but i am still so stunned by this.
and other personal things going on...

i just rubbed out the face on my painting of nick...
i can't look at it. i wish i could walk away from it for a couple of days...
but i'm starting to panic because we are hanging the show tomorrow morning...yes...i said tomorrow morning...
and this painting still needs another solid week of work on it. i don't know what to do. i can't paint today.
my brain is not working.
only a miraculous surge of energy and ability from God is going to help me now...i won't be getting any sleep tonight.

again, prayers would be most appreciated for me and everyone around me. there is a lot more, but i always hesitate to get too personal on this blog (believe it or not). so i guess that's all...


~~~~~~~~~~~~

this is really worth watching, i think. it starts out corny but it nearly brought me to tears. i feel like this where my life is right now, more than it has ever been. i know a lot of you can relate...



please take care, everyone...
love, colleen


~~~~~~~

whelmed-over

here are some pictures of me presenting on Friday (painting of Nick very unfinished)...

i am madly getting myself ready for my show wednesday. probably won't sleep much in the next 3 days...and i'm already exhausted.

lots going on...lots of people in trials and under pressure...just found out that one of my classmates has been pronounced brain-dead after being sick with pneumonia...it's really hard to stay focused. please pray...!

updates later...



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Capstone Tomorrow

colleen is very very not happy about talking in front of people.

my studio all cleaned up...



head drawing...

Tracey picking lemon-herb chicken flower bouquets...

a somewhat current photo of the Nick painting...bad color, etc...

i can't work on it anymore today...i'm just too frustrated!!! agh!

so tired. i think i'm going to drive back to my apt and eat soup and try not to worry about tomorrow...

before you go, you should really check this out...CLICK HERE! RIGHT HERE!!

and this...courtesy of Pip...


amazing.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

for now...

things are better.

here are some of my working progressions...again, i must repeat that the color in the photos looks terrible...

*NUDITY ALERT...*

watercolor on hot press

pastel on canson paper

oil on sanded canvas

the painting of Nick is coming along...

...and Ashlee is 97% finished!! i'm so excited! just some touches here and there before next Tuesday...


NEXT TUESDAY
I HAVE TO FINISH THESE BY NEXT TUESDAY

i can't believe things have gone so fast...

my friends and i just spent the last hour and a half cleaning up our studios for individual gallery interviews...

Friday is my Senior Capstone Oral Presentation...
Monday i'll be up all night...
then Tuesday we hang the show...
the show is a week from tomorrow...
then finals...
then Industry Open House...

oooooh goodness.




~~~~~~~~~

Lord my head is spinning
God i don't know how to trust You and i'm afraid of myself

i sat for a really long time but couldn't think of a title

so so very sleepy.
i don't really have time to post right now, but i'll get backed up and everything if i don't. last sunday Bettina came out and visited. we got dinner, went to a krispy kreme drive-thru and then went to the beach to enjoy them...


Christian, Danny and Robin taking a break from painting...

the last time i posted, i wrote about going to hang out with Phill, Red and Tiffany. we watched Zatoichi the Blind Swordman and Amadeus...




So, Bettina is graduating from nursing school this summer and is applying to hospitals for work. Friday, she and i got breakfast and coffee, and then visited my aunt Alice who works at Hoag hospital. we dressed up all in scrubs (which was only fun for me, really) and got to see some amazing things. we witnessed a couple of surgeries, got to see the pathology workers and touch weird stuff, and then Alice took us to dinner with a friend. Afterward Bettina and i went to hang out with some of my amazing friends from school.















in my studio sending a picture message...

Today i barely made it to church...but i'm glad i veered right onto the 605 at the last second...because i really needed to hear the message. i really needed to hear it.
my lovely family...and lovely pregnant Ginger and Anna...and, um, whatever Alec is doing...

as usual, Caid was a little too cute for my mental health...





Puppies are growing...








aren't they beautiful?

i think it's safe to say i hit a serious physical, emotional and spiritual wall this weekend. i have felt under vicious attack in every aspect of my life...dealing with a lot of confusion, guilt, heartache and self-condemnation.
someone at church today told me that they felt a burden for me this week and had been praying for me. it meant so much...
right this moment my body and spirit feel such weariness...i don't really know how to survive the next three weeks...

i wrote this in my moleskine 5 days ago...

Lord God...
I know You won't grow weary
of me asking the same
things every day...but i will.
So please give me patience to press on...
Lord i know that You won't
give up on Your children...but
i will. So please give me Your
love and endurance.

Today i feel Bitterness and fatigue.
How do i find Your overflowing joy & peace?

Search me and teach me, today, oh Lord.
i pray Thee...

i will be saying that every day for a long time.

"...but He giveth more grace..."

at least there's that...there's always that...
oh sigh



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Edan's birthday (the 10th)

lovely ladies...that's Ashlee, the model for my 2nd painting on the left...

heyyyyy...


yeah rock band...

the light of morning peeks through...







~~~~~~~~~~