Friday, May 27


Well, our show went pretty well tonight. I got to mess with the korg a that was cool.
Every show has a weird little problem...once Pip forgot his laptop...once there was an ominous buzzing noise that wouldn't go away for he whole show...tonight we showed up and there weren't any mikes, cords or stands...and we were told to "keep it down". :P
pip and i singing.
Needless to say, it still went well, we made do, and we had fun. Plus, we sold 5 ep's! And it's always encouraging how many people seem to enjoy it. That's the point, of course; but the feedback we always recieve is just lovely.


Joieux Anniversaire! (i think i butchered the spelling)

Happy Birthday and Happy Graduation Day to my dear friend, Katie!

Also Happy Birthday to my blog!
yes, it's been a year. wow.

Going back to my very first posts is interesting, I've already changed quite a bit. Maybe at some point i'll try to consolitade a few of my favorite posts. But not now...i have to be up in a few hours to go watch miss "top of her class in French and English" Katie walk across a stage in the middle of a football field.

I could brag about her all day.
I'm so proud!! And yet not a bit surprised. (:

Monday, May 23


Thought i'd post grandpa recieving his birthday present last week.
Surprisingly he liked it!
Now if only we can get him to wear it.

I'm afraid the title of this post reflects my own mood lately as well...sort of.

Mostly i've just been frustrated and a bit upset...and as usual it comes off as short fused around my family. And i don't blame them for being fed up with me. I'm fed up with me, too.
It's just that there have been a few developments in my growing knowledge of the nature of people close to me (in regards to myself and their expectations of me) that have been somewhat hard to swallow. i know that doesn't make sense...but it's mostly just so i have it here. And details aren't necessary.
I'm finding myself to be tuning out more. It's just easier...but it doesn't feel right.

I finished Descent Into Hell...arguably one of the strangest books i've ever read...but extremely fascinating. A second read will eventually be in order...but for now, Lilith by George MacDonald.

It's very hot.

Friday, May 20

"What lies below the surface affects the surface."

why our blood is red...

I sit and take in a quietly beautiful scene...high stone walls winding snakelike through an autumn wood; brilliantly scarlet leaves running like a chain through a mass of hanging willow branches hovering over a smooth lake.
I'm viewing a dvd about the work of an artist named Andy Goldsworthy, entitled Rivers and Tides.

So this guy Andy lives in gorgeous Scotland, has a wife and children, is totally existential, and makes his living by fusing icicles together, creating pools of dandelions in river crevices, and building egg-shaped towers of stone only to watch them disappear under an oncoming tide.
He's commissioned all over the world to create his artwork.

And it's very inspiring. It's a beautifully filmed little documentary, showing the trials and successes of his often intricate and frustrtaing work, and giving the viewer insight into what he's trying to communicate (though as i watch mister Goldsworthy ramble on to the camera, all i have to do is imagine him with a lisp and he immediately reminds me of a startlingly thoughtful Corky St Clair...).

Yet in watching him work, and comparing his productiveness to mine--especially when i agree with him when he says that if he goes for more than a couple of weeks without creating something he begins to lose himself--i've realized, more and more clearly, something i've been dreading to admit for some time now...

I'm a very lazy person.

No, really. And i seem to find that this laziness plagues not the unnecessary things in my life, but those that bring about daily functioning, productivity and confidence. My work. My health. My relationships with other people. My creativity.
I realize that some people who read this will probably be put off by it. But i have to be honest.

I'm shown a rushing river. He grinds iron-rich stones down to powder, throwing the pigment into the river, turning the water an opaque, shocking red. Like blood...

I'm finding that instead of thriving under pressure, as i once did...i now crack under it. Instead of writing every day, as i used to...i can barely bring myself to do it but once a week. Instead of getting up and running in the morning, i sleep well past the coolness in the start of the day (when i can). I'm so afraid to commit myself to things, to do anything that would benefit my own spirit. Especially when it comes to my relationships and creative outlets.

aaaaaaaaaaand i'm leaving to attend an intensive art school in 3 months.

"When i make a work i take it to the very edge of it's collapse", Andy just mused. And as those words voiced over what he was doing, the intricate web of twigs and branches he had spent hours building crumpled to the ground at the softest gust of the slightest wind.

I guess you just have to be willing to risk things.
And God help me, i need to.

Friday, May 13


I was looking back at a lot of my posts from last year up until a few months ago...and i used to actually post about worthwhile things. I'd wrote a lot...and not about movies and cookie decorating, and without a bunch of pictures. I'm not sure why i've found it so hard to just sit down and ponder here what is really meaningful...

even now...!


Tuesday, May 10

Narnia Trailer

If you have Quicktime, check this out...the trailer for" The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe".
A lot of it is kind of how i expected it to look...some wasn't.
I won't say everythingt i think just yet...i'll let you all see it first.
And let me know what you've got to say.


Thursday, May 5


So most people know i'm an admirer of Tolkien's mythology. That's no secret. I think the Lord of the Rings will always be my favorite book, and I'm eternally grateful for the fact that my love for it wasn't a mere by-product of the recent films. He has sparked my interest and thought in so many ways that i know i would be a different person if i hadn't read it. You don't have to make fun of me...i've got my sister to do that. (:
I've been reading books by C.S. Lewis since i was but a wee lass, the Narnia Chronicles, naturally, and lately more of his works for adults. But his children's books and essays on writing still remain my favorites. In addition, I do enjoy a good MacDonald tale now and then (a personal favorite of Tolkein's as a child). These two men, of course, knew each other and often enjoyed each other's company and encouragement, both in their worldly and literary endeavors, as members of a group called "the Inklings". In my quest to dip into the pool of works by these illustrious and brilliant writers and their colleagues and friends, i've started reading Charles Williams, recommended to me last year by Tim.
Having just begun Descent into Hell, i'm finding it very intriguing even at the start. Which is good. Not that i don't like books that take their time (obviously; my favorite book being over 1000 pages long), but it's nice to find a story that so successfully pulls you in quickly, without it seeming cheap or undermining...if that's the right word. hmmm.
I'm excited to continue on to the others...which is good too.

Sorry if this sounded self-appreciating...i mostly wrote it for me to look back on.
I hate disclaimers. But i can't go without them sometimes.

Das ist alle.

Tuesday, May 3

Laurel Tree


why, what's this??

self explanitory, i'm sure.
Earrings and wreath made lovingly by yours truly.

These are for you, Acacia! By request of the Tree.


well, and i think they're pretty.