Wednesday, November 28

Current inspirations...

Chuck Close

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Nicolai Fechin

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C.S. Lewis

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Last night's Sunset...

what's inspiring you?


Tuesday, November 27

Sunday, November 25

the past 3 days

sleepy dogs in the morning...

creepiest fruit i've ever seen...and even worse when you read what it's called...

the ginko bonsai turned lemon yellow...

Sarah's been feeling awful all week...:( so she cozied up...

video chatting with Artie and Helen (Alec's parents, while Sarah investigates her birthday present from Alec (Sesame Street "Old School")...

Thanksgiving dinner table

Day-After-Thanksgiving hike in Eaton Canyon...

it has been beautiful outside. Alec has been working madly on Christmas music...

the dogs got a bath tonight while Sarah and i watched Sesame Street, Sarah finished knitting Alec's hat and Alec and i did some music...

i like my green rose earrings.



Friday, November 23

nothing like apple pie for breakfast

it's beautiful outside...maybe i'll go hiking. i left my phone charger in orange two days ago so i have no cell phone. it's weird. i'm sorry if anyone has tried to call me...
Thanksgiving was good this, my mom, Sarah, Alec, mom's friend Beth and her husband Dave, their friend Yeung and an old family friend named Wendell all sat around the table for dinner. Then another friend of my mom's named Carole and her young tenant Krista came over and we all sang. The Lord blessed it.
It was also Sarah's 23rd birthday yesterday, and Alec and i (mostly Alec) threw together an impromptu birthday song for her. Pip did a little something, too. It's pretty fantastic.

i hope you all had a lovely day yesterday.

i'm lying on the couch right now and Maela is trying to get me to scratch her head. i have a lot to do today...just kind of trying to rev myself up i suppose...

every day for the last couple of days i've had to really pound it into my head that there's life after today. it isn't always necessarily positive or just feels that way for whatever reason.
it's strange not to be able to identify your own emotions...kind of feeling hypersensitive and numb all at the same time. it makes it kind of hard to look at people. it's also hard to be productive. i should do something about that.

i'll post some pictures later perhaps


Monday, November 19

i want a blowtorch for christmas

Friday night was the most fun i've had at work. For those who don't know, i do set up and clean up (i.e. i'm a dishwasher) for the Laguna Culinary Arts school. The perks of the job are that i get i get free amazing food, for every 4 times i work i get to take a free professional cooking course, and it's literally across the parking lot from my studio. So all-around it's great.
On Friday i got to watch a class on cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Not too exciting, i know. But add to that the fact that it was 4 couples taking the class, they were all very loud (might i say...boisterous?) and by an hour into the evening they were drunk off their heads. Oh, and they were carrying around knives and stirring boiling things on the stove. Laura (the girl i was working with) and i were in a constant state of bemusement and panic as we laughed at the chaos while trying to keep up with the washing and steer clear of the knives (which of course they carried pointed straight out in from of them...whoops! watch your back there!)

For dessert they made pumpkin Creme Brulee. Marlene (the chef) demonstrated how to caramelize the top using a blowtorch...

The best part of the night is when everyone dishes up their creations and moves out into the dining room to enjoy the fruits of their labor. That is when us workers get to break and eat and goof around. I had had very little to eat that turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, green bean salad and cranberry sauce was like heaven.

There were also two dishes of the Creme Brulee sitting on the counter but no one had caramelized the tops. "I guess we're going to learn how to make Creme Brulee," said Laura. She didn't want to go first so i picked up the blowtorch and pushed the button. Blue flame shot from the nozzle and after about 5 seconds the top of the custard began to sizzle and burn brown. it was very exciting.
After a few minutes Laura and i took spoons and cracked the tops and tasted them. I swore then and there that i was going to start making creme brulee...mostly because it gives me a really good excuse to get my own blowtorch at Home Depot.


Saturday evening i drove home, grabbed Sarah and our friend Amber and headed out to LA to visit Laura (longtime friend) who had just moved into her new apartment. For my birthday a few weeks ago she had bought a pinata and we never got to use she threw together a Colleen/Sarah birthday party and when we walked in, there it was, shining in all it's glory.
Also there were my mom, Jan, Wren, Ginger, Anna and Keitha (Thad's mom). They had made a wonderful dinner (Sarah made spaghetti) and for dessert we had cake. And was time for the anticipated event we had been waiting for all evening (okay so that was a little redundant)...

i was first...

then it was Sarah's turn

then lovely Anna


My mom finally smashed the thing to pieces...i have an awesome video of that.

look at us in our fierceness...



Sunday was a beautiful day (still not quite cold enough), and Sarah, Alec and i drove to church together. On the way we listened to a Christmas song he is working on. It sounds's going to be amazing...but he wants me to write the words! i had a go at it last night and got something started that's pretty interesting...but i just hope Alec likes it. i don't know. we'll see what happens.
It was a great meeting at church. Bob spoke and gave a message that was important to me in many ways. As usual, Ioni was the picture of perfect cuteness...

i didn't stick around long because Edan was super sick. i drove straight to Laguna and spent the afternoon there. i brought him tissues, fruit and gatorade, i dyed his hair back to dark, and we watched Eddie Izzard.


I got to school this morning around 10 and have been madly working to try and finish a painting i'm doing for Joey. Distractions haven't been too 11 an artist named Marc Trujillo gave a lecture, after which Sarah (from school), Krystyl and i were pining for lunch. We drove to a vegan restaurant called "The Stand". It's actually really good. And i like meat a LOT so that's saying something.

Krystyl and Sarah

camera war

poor Krystyl...

...stuck in the middle

I was so excited...i ordered a half avocado sandwich, Have'a Chips and Hummus. Krystyl went wild and got Chips, Hummus and a plate of waffles.

happy about the waffles

Now i need to get back to work. i'm almost done Joey, really! All i have left is Caid's hand holding that dang rhino.

Finishing a painting is so hard for me to do...i'm just never satisfied with it.
Plus i'm super tired. in many ways body, head, heart...
i'm glad i have the week off after tomorrow because i'm already burnt out.

but it's okay.

i'm not worried...a lot...

i just hope i hold my head up and not focus on how confused i am. isn't everyone...?

Man i can't wait to eat some pie on Thursday...


Thursday, November 15

Lord help me...

"The fight to which we have been called is not an easy fight. We are touching the very centre of the devil's power and kingdom, and he hates us intensely and fights hard against us. We have no chance at all of winning in this fight unless we are disciplined soldiers, utterly out-and-out uncompromising, and men and women of prayer.

So first, give much time to quietness. We have to get our help for the most part direct from our God. We are here to help, not to be helped, and we must each one of us learn to walk with God alone and feed on His word so as to be nourished. Don't only read and pray; listen. And don't evade the slightest whisper of guidance that comes. God make you very sensitive, and very obedient.

Fill up the crevices of time with the things that matter most. This will cost something, but it is worth it. 'Seek ye my face. My heart said unto Thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek.' No one is of much use who does not truly want to learn what it means to pray and listen and definitely choose the life that is hid with Christ in God.

Keep close, keep close. If you are close, you will be keen. Your heart will be set on the things that abide. You will drink of His spirit and you will thirst for souls even as He thirsts. You will not be attracted by the world that crucified Him, but you will love the people in that world who have never seen His beauty and are losing so much more than they know. You will live to share your joy in Him. Nothing else will count for much.

All this will be, if you walk with Him with a visible Companion, from dawn through all the hours till you go to sleep at night. And your nights may be holy too, every waking moment a loving turning to Him who is watching over you sleep as your Mother [or Father] watched over it when you were a tiny child.

Your dear ones: commit them to Him. It is the Wounded Hands that part you. That was said to me when the stabbing pain of parting was almost too much to bear. It was the thought of their pain that broke me; it may be like that with you. Then take the word that comforted me: it is the wounded hands that part you, one on them, the other on you, and He will not leave them comfortless. It is hard to say goodbyes, like being torn in pieces without chloroform. But it is for His sake; that carries one through."

~Amy Carmichael

Lord help me to remember how to be like You, to draw people in, and even to let people go. Because i find myself loving to strongly it hurts to even be near people, but aching with longing when i'm not with them, whether they love You or not. Indeed, the more people are hurting and confused, the stronger these emotions become in me.

Jesus when i'm quiet i'm often not being so with You. i'm doing anything and everything else that seems more pressing, more fun, more important. But what is more pressing than fulfilling my role in the setting free these precious ones? Your beloved children, my incredible friends, loved ones and sharers of this life trapped in the colorful illusion of a world utterly devoid of joy, promise and salvation...?

Lord God, i'm overwhelmed. Thank You for saints like Amy Carmichael who lived to exemplify what we all should be striving for. What i should be hoping for.

Jesus help me to be willing to pay the cost. Because as much as i want to, i don't know if i can when the pressing comes. But it's not for my's for Yours. it's for theirs.

Don't let me wander on in twilight any longer...


Wednesday, November 14

Post 400! and...a lot of other stuff...

First off, the results of no rain and lots of wildfires on the hillsides on the way to school...

last year

this year

Anyway, on a more positive note...!
Last Friday The Dandelion Council (Pip the great) played at the No Future Cafe. And it was quite quite wonderful. Pip is really reaching out and embracing his love for audio and visual imagery and combining the when i see one of his shows it's like i'm listening to and watching Pip's spirit. i know it sounds totally cheesy but it's true!!
So go Pip. :)

Pip and Andrew setting up...


Alec and Sarah silliness...

El Ten Eleven played as well. Now that's a good solid soiree of superior sound expreience. The Dandelion Council and El Ten Eleven. Aces.
Kristian played some songs from the new album that were's a great record. But nothing beats them live.
Fleurette made us cookies.


Saturday was women's prayer meeting at the Pikes, where i got to see my lovely cousin Amy. Afterwards, mom and i met Sarah and Alec at Pei-Wei for well as some special out-of-town guests...Alec's older brother and his family!!

Ian and Alec

Ian's wife Stephanie and their daughter Ana (who i totally fell in love with)

We celebrated Ana's birthday as well, and met up at Alec's apartment for Sarah's homemade carrot cake, and some presents. Pip and Fleurette came over for a bit and ate their cake in bowls with butter knives (alec was a bit short on utensils).


Admiring Ana's artistic creations inspired by her birthday gift...

There are some great videos from the show and from Ian and Stephanie's visit...i'lkl see what i can do about that...

Sunday. i picked up Edan in Laguna, and he enjoyed a nice nap on the way to church sporting my red sunglasses...


After a good message by Grandpa Floyd, lunch at Chipotle was in order. Sarah Edan and i freaked out Alec by making him think we all wanted to go to Togo's instead. But we didn't really.

Reid is super happy about the food he is about to enjoy.

watching Jeff's hands talk is mesmerizing.

Edan decided that afternoon that he wanted to bleach and dye his lovely brown hair.
So, on the way home from lunch, we swung by Han's Beauty Supply and stocked up on provisions. lightner, activator, and "shocking blue" hair dye.

Bleaching makes your head itch. Edan appreciated a good old-fashioned scratching very very much.


Then came the blue...

oooh, Alec Likes!!!

And there you have it. Blue hair. it makes me want to make mine teal again. i've still got some left...

I love you Pappas' (and maybe-Saleckers) i think about you all a lot...Craigheads...Megibbens...Adams' (and all Police-related entities)...and everyone else who isn't part of a clan. i would give names but i don't want to leave anyone out and feel like a total jerk.

Okay. i'm spent. I hope that was worth 2 and a half hours in Starbucks for all you people out there! Now i have to go draw for the rest of the afternoon so i can see a movie tonight.

love, colleen