the past 5 days or so

to see Caid getting his "rawr" on for Halloween: go here

this picture was completely un-posed. that's how amazing pip is.

after i saw all my friends at LCAD last friday i went to the beach for a while and wrote a few letters. while i was there a homeless man i know stopped and talked to me for a while. Pip and i and another friend of ours met him a couple of months ago. His name is Reegan, and he's in his early 40's and dying of cancer. but he is one spirited guy and looooves to talk and tell stories...

When we met him it was at night and he was drinking a bottle of Listerine. we ended up talking to him and a couple of other guys for about 3 hours. We prayed with Reegan as well...he knows the Lord and the only thing he's looking forward to is the day he gets to go be with Jesus.

Anyway, so that was pretty neat to see him last week. we got to catch up a bit, he showed me some shoes someone had just given him, and told me what was going on down in Laguna with all the people who were living on the beach. He also told me there are some people trying to get the rights to a book he wrote about his life, so they can make a film from it. i told him that that was amazing! he didn't seem to excited, though, and told me that if he ever does get any money from either of them, he's going to leave it all to his nephew who lives in Colorado. i hope i get to see him again...

there was also a woman on the bench near mine reading Twilight. it made me happy. i told her she was going to love it. hehe...

aah, southern california in the winter!

Halloween night, i saw the family, and Caid was more than proud to show off his "Dino" costume...



horraay for politics.


even BIGGER (and more sincere) hooraay for amazing weather!!!


mom carved a pumpkin :)

go america!



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yeah i could use a beer.

at first, i thought it might be kind of cool and freeing to be without a cell phone for a few days.


no.
no no no.

it wouldn't be so bad if i was in pasadena, because at least my family would be there, along with the house phone. but instead i'm in laguna beach, living by myself, without even a land line phone, and no internet access (i have it right now b/c i'm in my studio)...only being able to get in touch with people where there is a hot spot or i can find someone to let me use their phone. aaagh it's terrible! i don't know what i'm going to do tomorrow...someone i know is having a party...how will i co-ordinate anything?? what if no one can find where i am??
i'm feeling physically anxious right now. good grief look what technology had done to me!!

i'm all salty because waves attacked me today. Danny and i went plein air painting on the beach. and i sat on a really big rock and did a stinky little painting that got so wet i couldn't use the oil paint anymore. but it was really lovely. we visited a guy named john who has birds. Danny is kind of in love with parrots and cockatoos. this guy here that he's so involved with is named Harley...

Harley spent years living in an Albertson's truck, so he will randomly spout off on tyrades, saying..."the engine won't start! the truck's not going anywhere!" or "damn pedestrians!" mostly, while Danny and i were with him, he said "sup, bird" and mumbled in gibberish that was so ridiculous, Danny and i doubled in laughter.

then we went painting.

feet

as you know, yesterday i went to the norton simon and then mes amis came over for dinner.

here are alec, liz, tiffany and elizabeth all looking at books over dessert...today is Liz's birthday, and everyone's gathering together or something so i'm going to finish her card and head over in about 15 minutes.

oh sigh
i'm very restless and discontent right now. somebody slap me. no seriously, if you see me freaking beat me up!!! it'll make me feel better!


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i sat for a really long time but couldn't think of a title

so so very sleepy.
i don't really have time to post right now, but i'll get backed up and everything if i don't. last sunday Bettina came out and visited. we got dinner, went to a krispy kreme drive-thru and then went to the beach to enjoy them...


Christian, Danny and Robin taking a break from painting...

the last time i posted, i wrote about going to hang out with Phill, Red and Tiffany. we watched Zatoichi the Blind Swordman and Amadeus...




So, Bettina is graduating from nursing school this summer and is applying to hospitals for work. Friday, she and i got breakfast and coffee, and then visited my aunt Alice who works at Hoag hospital. we dressed up all in scrubs (which was only fun for me, really) and got to see some amazing things. we witnessed a couple of surgeries, got to see the pathology workers and touch weird stuff, and then Alice took us to dinner with a friend. Afterward Bettina and i went to hang out with some of my amazing friends from school.















in my studio sending a picture message...

Today i barely made it to church...but i'm glad i veered right onto the 605 at the last second...because i really needed to hear the message. i really needed to hear it.
my lovely family...and lovely pregnant Ginger and Anna...and, um, whatever Alec is doing...

as usual, Caid was a little too cute for my mental health...





Puppies are growing...








aren't they beautiful?

i think it's safe to say i hit a serious physical, emotional and spiritual wall this weekend. i have felt under vicious attack in every aspect of my life...dealing with a lot of confusion, guilt, heartache and self-condemnation.
someone at church today told me that they felt a burden for me this week and had been praying for me. it meant so much...
right this moment my body and spirit feel such weariness...i don't really know how to survive the next three weeks...

i wrote this in my moleskine 5 days ago...

Lord God...
I know You won't grow weary
of me asking the same
things every day...but i will.
So please give me patience to press on...
Lord i know that You won't
give up on Your children...but
i will. So please give me Your
love and endurance.

Today i feel Bitterness and fatigue.
How do i find Your overflowing joy & peace?

Search me and teach me, today, oh Lord.
i pray Thee...

i will be saying that every day for a long time.

"...but He giveth more grace..."

at least there's that...there's always that...
oh sigh



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in-n-out once a month is okay

Laguna has been insanely crowded...

my friends and i are insanely busy...


beginning of a pastel drawing...

my wonderful friend Nick will be the subject for my 3rd painting and i took a gazillion pictures of him over the weekend...

Start of a head study of Nick...

After church yesterday...


there are two lovely pregnant ladies in this picture...



Today animal trainers brought a bear cub and a tiger cub to school for 3 hours and that was incredible.
here's Cheyenne...









wrestling!







drawing like crazy...
























and Skye the tiger!
















picture taking


gorgeous animal

They were so so beautiful...

oh check this out...



okay gotta get back to work...


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