Saturday, May 30

today i fell in love with a teeny tiny bug

i can't even remember how i spotted it on the back of the living room chair...
an almost microscopic, perfect little entity.
i never realized how intelligent these little guys are,
as it warily approached and then fled from my camera.


pictures from oakbridge

caid finds a moth...

and don't forget

Friday, May 29

"The only God who seems to me worth believing in is impossible for mortal men to understand, and therefore He teaches us through this impossible.
But we rebel against the impossible. I sense a wish in some professional religion-mongers to make God possible, to make Him comprehensible to the naked intellect, domesticate Him so that He's easy to believe in. Every century the Church makes a fresh attempt to make Christianity acceptable. But acceptable Christianity is not Christian; a comprehensible God is no more than an idol.
I don't want that kind of God."

~Madeleine L'Engle
The Irrational Season

Wednesday, May 27

five years

no bowie-esque song of coming armageddon here.

just remarking that as of today i've been keeping this blog for 5 years!
i'm also starting a NEW BLOG (gasp) to keep as well as this one.

i've been following a few other weblogs that, as a rule, keep posts short and concise, no more than one or two sentences at a time. and i really enjoy them. so i'm going to start one of my own, as i can't really do it on this one.

here tis


Sunday, May 17

A Gwenny J story

we break now to bring you the tale of...

Gwen's First Pita
Gwen had never tried pita bread before...
but on this not-so-special day,
her big brother Caid decided to give her a piece of his
(with mommy's permission, of course)
she found it to be neither excellent, nor despicable,
and after chewing on it for a minute or so, contented herself to
pulling it apart and playing with it instead.
soon it pleased her to push it around on the tray...
and she pushed and pushed until
it was suddenly too far away for her to reach it!
no matter how hard she tried...
she had to face the inevitable truth...
...that it was she, and she alone, who had pushed the
little pita away.

The End

stepping out

today i went out with my mom and sat in starbucks and wrote while she marketed. then i wandered aimlessly (and slowly) in trader joes for 10 minutes. we bought some hummus. it was so exciting!!

now i'm going to lie down and not move for a while. :)

Friday, May 15

"Experiments in getting to the point."

i would like to recommend a stellar blog. i've visited it on and off and always been pleasantly surprised and uplifted by it.

twenty-two words

i'll be putting a link to it in the sidebar~~~

Wednesday, May 13


my surgery went very well. thank you all for your prayers!

love, colleen

Monday, May 11

the vital connection

"Beware of the tendency of asking the way when you know it perfectly well."
~Oswald Chambers (again)

i came to terms a long time ago with the fact that i am ridiculously afraid of always making the wrong decision or doing the wrong thing. i don't know how i have come to be this way...but there it is! it's a daily struggle to be so uncertain and insecure and completely un-trusting of myself, and i know that i'm not the only person who experiences this. though sometimes i feel like i am.
i realize it's not necessarily a bad thing to be untrusting of fact it can be a very good thing.
i believe there are many times where, in my hesitation, i have been spared very unpleasant experiences...on the other hand it has also held me back from what could have been very good and worthy ones.
So often it makes it hard to discern what i feel is the Lord's will from my own.

How much do i invest myself in people and things? Do i wait, Lord? Do i move ahead? Do i buy that plane ticket to Ireland? Do i reach out personally to someone who hurting? Do i commit to a career in animation or teaching? et cetera...

Or do i already know God's leading and i'm just too afraid of mistaking it for my own desire.
Because believe me, i know what i desire in these things and more...that is definitely not the problem. Or, you could say, it's a huge part!

What i hope for, more than anything else is that my interests be identified with Christ's.

Chambers also writes about intercession (which i feel ties in to all this)...
"Identification is the key to intercession, and whenever we stop being identified with God, it is by sympathy, not by sin. It is not likely that sin will interfere with our relationship to God, but sympathy will, sympathy with ourselves or with others which makes us say--'I will not allow that thing to happen.' Instantly we are out of vital connection with God."
This is such a loaded statement...i'll leave you to your own thoughts about it.
Just to say it spoke to me deeply in 2 ways...obviously, in how i pray for other people, and in how i discern what God's desires are in daily living.

i yearn for that vital connection, for that identification. Whether it be what to read in the morning, to praying for a drug-addicted loved one, to where i will be living in 3 months.

Proverbs 19:21...Thank God.


in other news:
i am having surgery tomorrow! it's took me (literally) years to finally make the decision to move forward with it (how appropriate). don't worry it's nothing life-threatening. "elective but medically necessary". it's a relatively personal procedure, but i don't really care if people know or not. i'm just not comfortable with posting details online.
i hope i will be able to make it to the oakbridge retreat in a couple of weeks...but if i don't you know why! and if i do, you will know why i won't be able to hug anyone. ha.
i'm a bit nervous, and the first week won't be much prayers are appreciated, please. :) thanks lovely people.

Friday, May 8

"Faith is not a pathetic sentiment, but robust, vigorous confidence built on the fact that God is holy love."
~Oswald Chambers

Monday, May 4

North of Holliston

after a weekend of intensive work on my drawing, i took a Sunday afternoon walk with Amaris and Reid...
passion flowers

fading evening light
we stumbled upon Amaris' fantasy/dream/faery house
she was so excited
showing us snow white's room

Amaris pointed at a lot of stuff :)
as we walked around here, the sound of someone practicing their piano drifted out of the upstairs window of this house. and yes, that is an oak tree on its side
and really big agave
when we saw this, Reid exclaimed: "look! it's the stone table"
pretty vine
proof i was there

i just love this house...the car...everything. doesn't it have an amazing face?
hurry back

i love where i live