babes, picnics, tapirs.

well, to put it simply, my days have become not only increasingly more and more (redundantly redundant) busy, but i swear, simultaneously shorter and shorter. i just don't have enough time to do even everything that needs to be done. like blogging! because i know you all set your calendars to my posts.

real quick...of late developments:
2 new jobs: background painter for warner bros., and substitute teacher at maranatha
moving on friday. new apartment! and i haven't even started packing!
large portrait commission in the works
traveling back east in less than 2 weeks
running a lot...up to 3 miles now!
trying to finish 2 other head drawings to enter into a show by the end of the month

and that's not even taking into account all the craziness going on around me with friends and family &c.
ok done updating.

so what am i doing up at 2:30 in the morning?
well, as much as i desperately need my sleep, i am instead lying awake in bed with a mind running 140 mph. because it doesn't seem to matter how tired i am...my brain will not shut down. it's ridiculous. and i'm trying not to get into the habit of taking my anti-anxiety meds before i go to bed every night :D

so i figured i might as well take advantage of the insomnia and be marginally productive. i've been meaning to post this stuff for a week.
therefore, i proudly present, some pictures and 4 amazing videos from last weekend!

birthday gathering for joey last saturday. lots of playing and wrestling on the lawn.
and cuteness.

Caid being a Tapir
(yes, a Tapir)

this one makes me smile

video of Caid pretending to be said Tapir:

Caid being a Water Bat
(yes, a Water Bat)

wondering what a water bat is? well, you can find out a bit about them in this video:


best line: "i live in the night!"


oh, and just in case you were wondering what water bats drink:


leaf!

playing with big brother

bare, charred san gabriel mountains :(

goofing around after church...

what's funny about this picture, is i have one of johnny and david doing the exact same thing when they were about 14 years old...i'll have to find it.

bob REALLY needs grandkids.

sunday afternoon picnic in the park!
i think joey, alec and jeff all just discovered bugs in their burgers.

oh, and by the way, Beatles Rock Band...

...is really fun.

night.

this week's assignment: look at a bug, talk to an emo kid, and sing a cowboy song (karaoke optional).

At the weekly pre-Bible study dinner at the Pikes, Caid and Reid wore uncannily similar shirts!! So of course i had to document it.
Caid was feeling camera shy/resentful and kind of refused to cooperate for a picture. this was the best one i was able to take...which i actually really like just the way it is so it's all okay :)

there were four little blue-grey caterpillars crawling around the wall where the ivy grows...much to Caid's intense fascination...here is a video i took of him...i love how when i ask him what he has, he begins to say "a caterpillar..." but corrects himself and decides he needs to be more specific: "A grey caterpillar".

some awesome emo guys at Chipotle.

i wish you could see their faces...lip and eyebrow piercings scattered evenly between them, the guy on the far right had a cloud of hot pink eyeshadow around each eye (and eyeliner on top of that, of course). i would also like to draw attention to the teal american apparel breifs. Sarah and i were talking about how they were basically just all slightly varying versions of each other. kind of like if you were asked to design a character with the description of "young, emo punk", you would draw these 3 dudes.

Saturday evening found my family celebrating the 25th anniversary of Anna's birth. As the evening winded down we all gathered in Wren's living room and watched a DVD Sarah and i made for her for her 20th birthday. When it was over and we were all sitting there tired from laughing, Caid and Joey began to sing songs together...
(sorry for some of the weird noises on the first one, it's my hand brushing against the input mic. i need to be careful about that...)

Sunday night Jeff and i went to Pataya on Loz Feliz for Thai food. The karaoke there was some of the worst i ever heard (not the singing...the music itself) which just made it amazing.
here is Jeff singing.

and here is jeff showing the guy how to use his karaoke program...the little man who ran the music and played along on the keyboard with every song deserves a mention... after Jeff and i bumbled our way through a few songs and he did a few himself, he came and sat down and we realized that 1-the little man didn't know any of the songs he was playing to and 2-the keyboard wasn't even on. he sat up there and faked accompaniment to every single song, sometimes playing completely off-beat and occassionally stopping and waving to people walking in...right in the middle of a track.
it made me so happy.

oh, here is a video of Cam and Reid from last week (see below)...

Ecclesiastes 3:11

Jasmine is blooming everywhere...
and flowering trees...magnolias, lemons, plums, crepe myrtles, oranges, tababoulias...everything smells good.

last week was rough...but God showed me a LOT about Himself throughout it. i learned about how much fear i harbor (i didn't think i could possibly have needed to know more about that), how fragile i am (again...i thought i had that covered), and how much i need my brothers and sisters in Christ to keep me straight and accountable.

yesterday, Sunday, was one of the most beautiful days ( i think) that we've had this year. it rained early in the morning, leaving the skies clear, clean and full of magnificent deep, thick clouds in brilliant contrasts of light and dark. the sun shone most of the day, but a chill breeze blew as well, making scarves and jackets a necessity.
though, for a few hours in the afternoon i refused my sweater... content to let my arms soak in all the different warms, cools and breezes in the air.

after church the whole clan went to lunch at pei wei, including anna, the meyers, even dave came and met us, fresh from SLO.
gwen discovered she loved a tube of lip gloss i had in my purse.

afterward mom wanted to see jeff's house and the work he was doing on it, so while the two of them talked home improvement, i sat on wren's front lawn (as they are next door to each other) and enjoyed the previously lauded weather. i was joined on and off by sarah and alec, and at one point, reid and cam--who enjoyed a bit of tag and wrestling.















i hung out around there most of the afternoon...eventually getting coffee with wren, anna, robin and my mom. then we went and bugged jeff, who had just laid down on his couch for a nap.

in the evening i stuck around with jeff and mom took my car home. we decided to go to Whole Foods to get dinner supplies, deciding we wanted to create a vast array of delectable delights to graze from. we were there for the better part of an hour choosing cheeses, fruit (apples and cantaloupe), prosciutto, salame, olives, bread, crackers, chocolate, tea...and a nice bottle of something that, once empty, could hold a bunch of jasmine. after a long, store-wide search, we were left with 2 obvious choices: a really pretty blue sake bottle, and a rad beer bottle with an owl on it...we decided to go with the sake.
we also went by bed bath & beyond because jeff needed wine glasses. he also bought a new trashcan. he was super excited about it.

once back at his place, we prepared the food and listened to the Sweet Hurt whilst doing so. i spent most of the time wrapping the prosciutto around the melon. wren and cam came by and sampled a few things. cam also spent a good amount of time perfecting his form sliding across jeff's still empty new hardwood floors.

once jeff finished the sake i went outside and shivered as i clipped a bunch of jasmine from his vine. around 9:30 jordan came over with a few more things, we did pushups, and then sat down to enjoy our spectacular array of food while watching james bond.
how do i know it was an awesome evening?

because i forgot to take even ONE single picture.

~~~

it's a wonderful life that you bring. it's a wonderful thing.

So my presentation actually went pretty well this morning.

i am so so very tired today. it's my own fault, as i was up until 3am this morning doing very geeky things. i now have an alter-ego Karta Mal'kyla, a Bothan with feats of running and force-sensitivity (among other things). and i know how to handle a blaster rifle. apparently i'm lacking in charisma (bad roll...but i make up for it in dexterity).
i love being in art school.

i'm in my studio...i wish i could take a nap in my bed and then paint...but an hour of driving would not help me now i think.
i'm also hungry. but there is no food here. i just ate 6 stale pretzels and thus depleted our nutritional store entirely...there's still some coffee candy...

it's very lovely out today...i should sit in the sun for a bit before it's gone.

tomorrow night a friend of mine from school is throwing a "March Mustache Madness Retrospective" party. so that should be pretty amazing, considering the time is slated at 9pm-5am...

Pip's birthday is on Sunday (big 25)...
Edan's is on Thursday (epic 30)...
Anna just had hers on the 31st (pretty 24)...

i've been researching MFA programs...is it worth the two more years and gazillions of dollars...? i don't know. it depends...i do know i don't want to stop learning yet. and maybe someday i'll be brave enough to really see myself teaching at some point.
it's not like i have any big commitments holding me back from anything. i'm not the one getting married this summer (cough*Sarah*cough) and i'm not trying to hold down a job.
maybe i will study language and literature in Ireland...

My world is revolving to the music of Nick Cave, Beach House, Joanna Newsom (left) and The Chapin Sisters. i suppose they are all quite melancholy and/or dreamy...but that's just how i'm feeling lately. thinking a lot about running tirelessly. of skin, flying machines and soft touches. of orange flowers, love and silver leaf.

yesterday and today i have been a bit out of sorts. certain things in my life just won't let me go...i'm having a hard time being content. i hate fear because it cripples me. i hate loneliness because it drains me. i hate doubt because it makes me apathetic. i hate feeling like i'm missing something from my life because God has given me everything i need...
...but Lord what about something tangible to cling to...

for the first time i'm getting worried about where this world is going. mostly because i really want to have children someday (Lord willing) but not if things keep spiraling downward the way they are. i guess it's not up to me.

i don't know if i'll do much painting today. i'm going to force myself to do an oil sketch of Nick onto my final canvas and maybe that will get my blood flowing a bit.

i want to write a novel.

i really would like to sing a lot more.


where's my palate...



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

this morning

i was thinking about my friends who are suffering. seeing Pip last night and not being able to hug him enough...seeing my friend Ashlee today and wishing i could say something wonderful...thinking of Bettina, talking to Edan, my sister, praying for Laurel, my cousins, Amaris, Kristina, her sister, Searcy, Katie, Andrew, Mollie, the Bishops, so many...

and i said to God...

God, internal pain hurts. i can see it on faces. i'm almost finished with my first painting. and there are some new ideas percolating. we'll see.

Ephesians 2:4-8


~~~~~

church.













pretty sky.

pretty girl.

lunch with sister and cousin.


Happy Neue Jahr!

so.

i kind of had a small inward meltdown over the last few days and i can't quite decide if it's over yet...i kind of want to go crawl in bed and cry...but at the same time i'm a little excited about taking a shower and crawling into bed and reading.
it's weird because it literally fluctuates numerous times throughout the day. i'll feel a certain way (i.e. scared, hopeless, panicked, &c...) and do a bunch of stuff, drive somewhere, or write like crazy...and then after about an hour i'll say 'what the hell was wrong with me?' recant stuff, apologize, and feel like a total spaz...only to be back in the same place later in the day.

God is really testing my patience right now. Because waiting on matters of the heart and head are at the bottom of my competence list. And so, as is His wont, He is making me wait.


In the words of Inigo...'I hate waiting.'







oh yeah...and my hair is gone.





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