Sunday, March 27

the author and finisher

Happy Easter, all.

You know, despite how often i vent frustration here, i have so much to be thankful for. I need to remember that. i do right now.
It's just so much easier to think about every thing that's wrong. Looking for the Lord's hand should be my first reaction to adversity. Too bad it doesn't always work that way.
I've been thinking about a lot of things. And when i think about things...alot, i tend to overthink...and worry myself over circumstances i have no control over. Why do i do this? It's so frustrating. i've already done it 2 or 3 times today. lzibfIubg.

Last night i had "grandma duty". She usually rings around 3 am, and i was up so late last night--until about 2--that i decided i'd just wait up for her to call instead of having to wake up just as i fell asleep.
Sure enough, at about 2:50, she buzzed me and i went in to help her pee and give her her pill. As she was drinking a little bit of milk, she began to do something she's been doing more and more lately...getting it down the wrong hole and choking on it.

It's something that's yet another development of Parkinson's disease...the loss of the ability to swallow correctly. And in the past few weeks, i've been noticing her choking on her drinks more and more...and at some point it will happen with food as well. And with elderly people, getting too much debris in the lungs, or simply choking too much can lead to pnemonia.
I brought grandma's choking up to my mom, and she had noticed it, too. She says that at some point, because of this problem, most people with Parkinson's need feeding tubes. But my mom already talked with my grandma...and she says she doesn't want to have one. I don't know what we'll do at that point.

As grandma sat and coughed, i couldn't do anything but watch her. So i sat with my hand on her back and waited, growing more and more anxious. When she stopped, she asked for a little bit of water. Then i got her back in bed.
I stayed up for another half hour or so, just in case she called again, and she didn't. Not until around 7, which is usual as well. I went back to bed and slept for about an hour more, before my alarm went off, and i got up to get ready for church and help mom with breakfast. Peach pancakes and sausage and fruit.
After telling him about 3 times, grandpa finally began remembering it was Easter. He was in a good mood this morning. He even took a shower by himself before we got up, to my mom's surprise and horror.

Church was lovely, as we had a lot of out-of town visitors; many of them from a sister-church in northern California. Sarah and i went alone, as my mom had to be here with the g-rents, and my dad is very sick. But it was still nice. She drew a fish on my hand.

Anyway. It's another beautiful day... and Jesus is alive...so that's pretty cool.
think about that.
(:

3 comments:

JohnH985 said...

Hey,
Just random blogging and came across yours. You show a lot of strength from what I read in your situation, it has to be hard with your grandparents, I never went through anything similar so I can't say I know what you're going through, but in some ways I can. Good luck
John

peregrin said...

happy Easter. He's risen!

colleen said...

John...thanks for what you said! i feel like i don't really deserve it...as i know i could be a lot stronger than i often am. But i do appreciate it. (:
I occasionally do the aimless blog searching as well...you never know what you'll find.
take care...



hi Pip. (;