oh bother

It's funny how screwed up one's head gets when one loses focus, isn't it?
I feel like i've been really horrible...to my family, to my friends, to myself. Of course most of my reasons for my discontent haven't written about. Because to me, they make sense...but to everyone else my woes are pitiful, at best. And...they're right. That's another reason. I'm a bit embarrased about it. All i want is to feel different...it sounds easy, doesn't it? You know you shouldn't look at things a certain way, or you need to change the way you feel about something...so why is it so impossibly...impossible? I don't feel a whole lot different...i still want to scream every so often and cry my brains out...but i'm trying to figure out how i've gotten this way. It's mysterious and shameful. I don't know.
I think i need to stop writing about myself so much. But what else do i do with a blog? So confusing...
I HAVE found out one thing...talking to people is good. Too bad that along with this strange rut i'm in i've developed such a phobia of plesant conversation.
In other news...
i finished the next cd project pip and i are doing...a "random mix". It's awesomely sweet.
we're getting another dog next month :D
i overheard my grandpa telling someone i didn't have any brains today!
sweet guy.

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