untitled.

So I'm going through my bookshelves, my cluttered desk, and boxes of...stuff in my closet trying to figure out what to keep, and what to throw away. I got to my shelves and looked over my books. Many of them are literature I read for school, and I enjoyed, and so I gladly kept. This last semester, my friend Kristina and I were surprised on the first day of our excellerated critical thinking and writing class by finding out that it's theme was gender studies. aka feminism.
My initial disappontment faded as the weeks progressed, and it turned into one of the most enjoyable classes I've ever taken. I would never in a million years call myself a feminist; not in today's sense of the word, nor that of 30 years ago. But the class made me examine myself just the same, and I really only dug myself stauncher in my beliefs. Which is good.

Anyway, I came upon all of the feminist books I'd had to buy and read throughout the semester, and but for a select few, I'm trying to figure out what on earth to do with them. One in particular. Whatever will I do with the garbage in "Scum Manifesto"? Scum, by the way stands for the "Society for Cutting Up Men".
Yea.
It was written by Valerie Solanas. That's right, the woman who shot Andy Warhol. If you want to find reasons to blame men for not only sadness, poverty, violence, and world hunger but also sickness and even death...this is the book for you. The thing isn't even a quarter of an inch thick and i didn't even read it all. There are few things in my life that i will call complete wastes of my time or energy. This was both. Very amusing, though, if that means anything.

So why all of this banter about my feminist books?
I'm really not sure. I guess i'm just expressing a frustration of spending 3 months reading up and dissecting a subject i have little interest in except to avoid it.
Which brings me back to my thought that there are few things in my life that are wastes of my time and or energy.
Suffice it to say, this was not one. I think if i had had a different teacher, one that was a hard core feminist, or was even female for that matter, i would have come out of the experience with quite a different attitude. Instead of focusing on the importance of the feminist hot topics in our current society, he had us focus on why these areas are not important to the feminist movement, i.e. lesbianism, man-hating, and goddess religion.

But all in all, as interesting as it was at times, feminism is such a selfish, misled and washed-up movement. Being a Christian is a big reason why i find this issue so worthless in my life. What it is based on is discontentment and rebellion...that there is no difference between a man or a woman, and there should never be because it's "unfair". Did the Lord not create us as different creatures, both physically mentally and emotionally? Did He not specify what our roles were on this earth? I support women’s right to equality within their means, I don’t support abortion (not on religious grounds), I don’t support homosexuality (on religious grounds), and I think that women today have blinded themselves to what they are created to be: lovers and supporters, as well as leaders and innovators. I think that’s a wonderful place to be, and it is difficult to find happiness when you can’t find your place.

I used this little testimonial written by a friend of mine in one of my papers in the class. She is a 25 year old law student, and became a Christian about 2 years ago. I find it to be very telling:

“Am I a feminist?
“In college I majored in women’s studies and would have screamed ‘Hell Yes!’ These days, I have a relationship with Jesus and my perspective has shifted.
“As a feminist in college I was keenly aware of the negative associations many people carried with the term ‘feminist,’ but my devotion to the cause outweighed the stigmas I perceived. I identified with quotes from feminists like Audre Lourde: ‘the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house.’ And Rebecca West’s doozy: ‘I myself have never found exactly what a feminist is; I have only found that I am called one whenever I attempt to differentiate myself from a doormat.’
“I saw throughout history women’s roles devalued and marginalized. I understood that we lived in a patriarchy; and while I didn’t believe that men were wholly to blame, I did think they possessed the tools to remedy this situation.
“Now I see that we (men and women) are all fallen people and the social problems I saw men reaping the benefits of are just symptoms of the sin we are all choose to participate in. As a feminist, I knew others believed in God, but I couldn’t allow myself to worship a being that allowed such blatant injustice. It wasn’t until later that I understood about choice and it began to make sense. God created Adam and Eve to have a relationship with Him, but He also gave them free will. This enabled them to choose to worship Him and live in His presence or choose to sin and be separated from God. The amazing thing is that He knew we would screw it up; and being a perfectly just God, our sin demanded a payment; so He sent His son Jesus to pay for all the sin of the world, in order for us to continue to live in God’s presence. The injustices of the world (of which sexism and all of its ramifications are not a small part), while they are not part of God’s plan, do result directly from our fallen nature and our collective choice to separate ourselves from God by putting ourselves before our brothers and sisters (in the family of God).
“Of course, answering this question cuts to a linguistic problem with all philosophical discussions; any meaningful response depends on a shared definition of terms. It is unlikely that society as a whole could agree to a common definition for such a loaded term as ‘feminist.’
“In college, I defined a feminist as someone who believed: women should have opportunities to do the same jobs as men for equal pay, capitalism should focus less on the bottom line and encourage employers to allow flexibility for employees with families, a man who raped a woman or molested a child should be castrated, and basically, that we should all step back and look at life choices as real choices rather than paths pre-ordained by our gender in the womb. I felt that I should be able to chart the course of my future based on my strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, and fanciful dreams.
“And now, even though I would agree with most of the statements in the preceding paragraph, they no longer define me in quite the same way. Now, it could be said that I have lower expectations, because there is less at stake for me. This world is not my home. I have surrendered my life to my Lord (truthfully, I do every morning; but most days, I’ve taken it back by lunchtime). My point is that it’s not about me anymore, so I no longer define myself by my feminist views. They’re still there, and they are still a part of who I am, but they just don’t yell quite so loudly.
“So . . . the answer is a qualified ‘no.’ I only want one word to ‘define’ me: CHRISTIAN! Although it seems nobody can agree on a definition for that word either. I assume that I would agree with the beliefs of most feminists today, and I wouldn’t be upset or embarrassed to be called a feminist. But when asked today to define myself as a feminist, I respectfully decline.”

I guess that's all. For someone who doesn't care much about feminism, i seem to have many thoughts on the subject. There's a lot i kept to myself, too. I am glad i took the class and stuck with it. I know that it was not a waste of my time...God wouldn't allow that. Maybe it was just the presence of my friend and I as the only two Christian voices in the class that gave Him reason. I may never know.
But I didn't walk away empty-handed! I know more about feminism and how to argue it now more that I ever wanted to. So come on! Gimme everything you got! hehe. No, really. I'm thankful to the Lord for allowing me to have that experience. No matter what i say.
Funny how that works. Seriously, this is most likely the last you will ever hear from me on this subject. Honestly. I really don't like it. It makes me mad! It stirs me up! It's good to get stirred up sometimes. okay, now I'm just rambing.

bye...