The Life of Jim...and Why It's Okay He Longs for More Than He Has

It's been really windy today...and chilly. But so beautiful. Mom and Sarah and i went to visit grandpa in the hospital today, he fell again about a week ago and mildly fractured a part pf his spine, got himself a nasty gash in the back of his head, and now has pnemonia for the third time in the last 6 months. Wow! He's actually doing pretty well...just weak and grumpy. Which is nothing new. I held his hand and told him what teams were playing in the NFL game on TV (The Steelers and the Broncos), and we gave him cookies.

While we were there we visited a man that mom met in the emergency room last week when she took grandpa in. His name is Jim...and all his life he's battled a horrible disease that causes constrictions in one's intestines that must be surgically removed. He had his first surgery when he was 7 years old, and has had 7 more since then. He's 51 and has virtually no digestive system left. He weighed about 100 pounds when he dragged himself into the ER a week ago, dirty and unkempt, and today told us in a bright voice that he's gained 9 pounds since then. His hair is cut so bad it's almost comical; obviously someone's quick remedy to the bedraggled mess he was when he arrived. He's got 5 IV's running into his arm supplying him with fats, sugars, vitamins, etc. because he pretty much can't eat. Last time mom visited him, he asked her to bring him some "snacky foods" that would just go straight through him and he could enjoy...so we brought him chocolate chip cookies, too.

He showed us his scars from the surgeries, and showed us how his skin was regaining elasticity. He trembled as he spoke to us about his award-winning knife and gun collections, his friend the Elvis impersonater, and told us about his two children, both around my age. His daughter in in college in San Diego, and his son just turned 21. "Your daughters are so beautiful!" he told my mom. "I wish you could meet my kids, they're good looking kids. I'm so lucky." He told us about his comic book shop that he used to own. That his wife had yellow-green eyes. That his parents both died of cancer when they were in their early fifties. "That's so young!" He told us.

He invited us to come to the next show he will have his collections in when he "gets all better", and we happily told him we would love to go. He hugged us all so warmly as we left that i hardly noticed how thin he was. And as we walked down the hallway we talked among ourselves of how fascinating it is for someone who treasures life so much and has so much more he wants to do with it...can be so close to death. A week ago as he, my mom and my grandpa were in th ER they witnessed a group of young gang members being rushed past and around them...victims of multiple stab wounds. "They have no idea what they're throwing away...they're just throwing life away!" Jim said to my mom that night.

We know he's probably going to die soon. The doctors don't even know how he was still alive or how he could have taken care of himself. He's being released later this week, and will be admitted into a convalescent home as sort of a halfway house deal. But after that??? Lord, i don't know. He told us he was "going home"...but we don't even know if he has a home to go to.

hmmm. I'm not sure how to wrap this up. I've written four different paragraphs...trying to end this post for the last 15 minutes. I just want so much to be grateful. And i hope i can learn to value my own life as much as God does. That would be better than anything i could ever imagine.



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50 degrees? Biting Wind??! Pouring Rain??!!!!??? Let's go SWIMMING!!!

Laurel and Acacia were back in town over the new year (happy new year, by the by), and brought with them the joy and spontanaiety that seems to follow them wherever they go. Last week in a fit of freezing stormy weather, the girls decided it was prime time for a winter dip in our VERY unheated pool!

Running behind them in 3 layers, scarf, gloves and an umbrella, i shot a video of the whole thing...from which i got these pictures.



Amid of screams and shreiks of shock from the water, my mother's laugh (as well as mine) rang out from the house. Acacia was the first to scramble out of the pool...



...followed by Laurel. And the dogs.



It's too bad you can't really see how hard it's raining from these pictures! Not content with just one plunge into the icy water, Acacia went for it again...



followed by a nice warm sisterly hug.



It was a good day. Buuut now they're back in their prospective corners of the world. And i miss them already...just having them around for a couple of days made it feel, well, like summer again! Despite the dismal skies. They won't be around for another while yet...probably until summer. Ahh, warm, colorful summer...bringing friends, fellowship and long eventful days...!

But of course, it will come fast as it ever does...and i, as usual, will be wishing it was cold again.

Tchuss...



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Christmas Tyme

Just thought i'd post a little something, you know, because it was Christmas yesterday. Plus i love this picture of my cousins and me. Don't us girls have just the greatest noses in the world???

Out of all past years, this year has felt the least Christmasy. Which made me sad...because i miss the forlorn feeling of "Christmas is over!" So basically i'm sad because i'm not sad...but i'm STILL sad...but for a different reason...so it doesn't count. right.

Mom and i are about to go watch White Christmas (you know, the classic Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney vehicle).
Maybe that will help. (:

Colors Songs and Crying

My mom and dad just left the room after praying for me...i'm having surgery on my toe for the EIGHTH time in a couple of hours and i'm kind of not looking forward to it. It's extremely painful and i would feel a lot better if i knew this would be the last time, but i don't. so yea.

Otherwise things have been generally good. I'm almost busier now that school is over than when i was pulling 1-2 hours of sleep a night for the last week or so during finals. Bettina is getting married next month, so that's been crazy...and will only get crazier...friends are coming back into town...last night i saw Laurel for the first time since August; looking lovely as usual. I've seen a lot of movies...

Walk the Line-good film...though i was a bit sick when i saw it, so i don't want to say too much until i see it again. The singing is awesome.

Harry Potter-very enjoyable. as you already know. Saw it twice.

Narnia-I REALLY wanted to like this movie. Really. But i didn't. Sarah and i walked out of it so disappionted we almost didn't know what to say. There were neat little instances here and there...but it was so whitewhashed and sloppy to me. It really makes me sad. Sarah remarked that she was glad Lewis never had to live to see it.

Pride and Prejudice-I thought this was fantastic. I still prefer the BBC version to it...mostly because Kiera Knightley was not a convincing Elizabeth to me...and it's styalized direction and grittier setting failed to capture the elegance of Jane Austen's world. Yet by setting those things aside and just looking at it as it's own entity, it was excellent.

King Kong-i'm not the worlds biggest Peter Jackson fan, but if there's one person in this world who knows how to direct action and grandeur...it's him. I've said many times regarding this film, that it's so refereshing to still be able to see a movie...and be absolutely astounded. This film was AMAZING. It has it's flaws, yes...but i would see it again in a heartbeat. Someone should just give Andy Serkis an oscar already...i mean come on! It's beautiful and stunning...like it should have been. And i cried at the end. How could you not??!

Autumn is wonderful. The picture is one i took of the ginko tree in our backyard. there are Colors everywhere. i love it.

Been doing some music, too.

My appointment is now in an hour (i got up half way through typing this post), so i should get ready.
Jesus, please let this be the last one!

Have a wonderful and blessed Christmas everyone!


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look closely

why you shouldn't leave your Christmas lights up all year...

long way to go

It's 3:48 in the morning and i'm oooooh, a little over half done with (one of) my final projects due this coming week. It's a darn good thing i'm enjoying my classes or i'd be royally peeved...instead of just really....really tired.
i just had to respell "really" 4 times.

I haven't been to church in nearly a month and a half...isn't that terrible? i've fallen willingly prey to the "i have more important things to do" mindset. i've been able to get to Bible study on Fridays...which is always wonderful. We're studying Luke. But church is harder.

For so so many reasons. Sundays i have to drive back to Orange, i have homework, i need to got to the market, i'll just talk to Jesus before i go to bed tonight.

i know i'm suffering without Him. i can blame my problems on anything i want but it won't do me any good because even i know there's really no excuse. There's just too much going on. Talking to people is just too hard for me right now. Especially God...

Well i should call it a night. Go steal a sliver of pumpkin pie from Thanksgiving, take a shower to wash the dirt out of my hair and go to bed. For 4 hours?
We'll see...

now hearing: Hurt, covered by Johnny Cash

Think you're too good for Harry Potter?

Then you should see this film anyway. Absolutely brilliant.

YOU

should watch this.

it'll do you good...

tell me why!

welcome to mycult...

i just wanted to let you all know...i've joined a cult.

it's called MySpace. you can find me here.
i don't blog on it or anything...i'll still do that here. it's just one more way to keep track of people...and one more thing to keep track of!

Things are going pretty well. I've been really tired :P
lots of drawing...reading...drawing...not sleeping...


last weekend was my birthday, and my family and Pip, Andrew, Katie and Bettina all came down to Orange county, and surprised me by sitting through the enire Extended editions of the 1st and 3rd Lord of the Rings films. They know i would never ask them to do that for me...so it was fun. (:
Sarah even made me a Middle Earth cake...


I spent the week, also, reading MacDonald's Curdie books. WONDERFUL
And i've been listening to the new Sigur Ros album. AWESOME
Sarah and i are also en train de watching the entire 1st season of Lost on DVD. FUN

And tomorrow i'll spend Halloween doing homework! yay!

take care, everyone...

Oh Baby!

Here's Joey, the world's happiest new daddy.

On Wednesday, October 12, baby Caid was born...8lbs, 21 inches and showing off the infamous hallmark of the family...insanely chubby cheeks!

Click on this link to head on over to ...his very own Myspace page...a must for any baby of the 21st century!

The Greatest Title Ever

i think...i think i may have the internet down in Orange now. I'm going back tonight after being home for the weekend and i'll give it a shot.
School is going pretty well...i've been able to do some nice artwork already, which is a good thing.

It's been cooold! I love it. Yesterday mom and Sarah and i went out and got pumpkins. When we got there, we found out that for about 14 dollars you could take home as many as one person could carry...so of course i got piled with 4 big ol' pumpkins, and they even gave us one more. Just to be nice.
What a deal, eh?

I updated the sidebar a bit...yea, i haven't been doing a whole lot of reading lately...though the list is piling up! I've mostly just been re-reading my Bone graphic novels.
I saw "Everything is Illuminated" last weekend. Good little film. It had it's flaws, but i enjoyed it.

This post is completely and totally pointless. I wanted to go into some intelligent exhoration in response to Ariel's post, but i'm far too braindead. bbblllllaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I really don't feel like going back tonight. I never thought i would miss being here at this house! Well, mostly i just miss my family. It would be nice if we still lived in our other house...

Anyway...i hope everyone is faring well!


p.s. still no baby...her due date was on Friday...so any time!

love bear

hi there all...

just wanted to say


I LOVE YOU

It's (almost) Time!

So last weekend we had the baby shower for Ginger (my cousin Joey's wife). I just wanted to post a few pictures because it was a beautiful day and Ginger looked just lovely. I swear, she's the world's most gorgeous pregnant lady. Joey's one lucky guy.

That's Loreen in the background. She's a very nice woman...

So, the baby (a boy) is due in early October...just a couple of weeks now, so it could be any time! I'm so excited...this little guy will be the first born of our generation (of brothers sisters and cousins on my dad's side of the family).

I like this picture because Ginger and Anna are both pregnant. Oh by the way, for those of you who know her...Anna M is pregnant!


And i love this picture...soon to be mom and dad. Daddy Joey is a little tired. They're so cute.


No name for him yet...i can't wait to see him!

"Why don't you light the candle?"

...Sarah just asked me. It's late and i'm very sleepy and a little stressed out. I just thought i'd drop a little note besides my scandalous pictures of the Pope...

Hopefully i'll soon be getting the internet down in the OC soon! (yes...i just called it the OC)
Then i can actually update more than a few sentences a week. Because things are crazy.

Be safe everyone...

Too important not to post...

Cellar Door

Hey...Sarah and i are, at this moment, watching deleted scenes from Donnie Darko. I had never seen it before...what a bizarre, fantastic, disturbing peice of film.

The second week of school went better than the first...mostly just because i'm starting to get used to it.

The highlight of my week?

Getting to shake the hand of Glen Keane. If you have even the tiniest knowledge of anything concerning animation, cartooning, design...you'll have heard his name. He is responsible for bringing to life such characters as Ariel, Aladdin, the Beast (from Beauty and the Beast), so many others...his most notable being Tarzan. Absolutely brilliant.
This afternoon he came to the school and gave a 2-hour lecture to a packed room of giddy art students...showing us pages from his sketchbooks, stories of his inspiration, and even gave an impromptu animation demo based on input from the audience.
It was greatly inspiring. And incredilby Daunting.

About to read Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. it aught to be very interesting.


There's a lot more to get into. I'd type more, but i'm pretty tired. So until next week!

learning feels good

My my...a whole week done and gone! I'm only at home for this one evening and i still don't have internet access where i live so i figured i'd jump on and let you all know i'm still kicking...
School went fairly well for the first week, and i'm having to do some major re-adjusting to get into the rhythm of living and breathing art. Most of my classes look like they're to be fantastic and challenging, and i'm looking forward to all of them. My life drawing class is a 6-hour immersion in figure drawing and painting that i attend Mondays and Wednesdays...my feeling is i will derive a lot of pleasure out of these 12 hours a week! I also am taking what seems to be quite an entertaining perspective class, and a writing class called "critical reasoning". I can't remember the names of the literature we'll be covering there for all you scholars out there, but when i do i'll let you know.
The only class i'm not that excited about is one aptly titled "human evolution"...which is as it sounds, a course with the goal of teaching the evolutionary theory as fact. oooh well. i'll live. It will still be interesting.

Part of me is still terrified...i don't do well in new social situations (or, at times, even old ones). However, providence would deem me, in this case, to "suck it up", as it were, and move along. My nerves and yearnings for things comfortable and familiar are resisting in a big way. So i'll be finding challenges in more things than keeping my apartment clean and completing my homework on time...

Today when i was in the Art Store buying graphing triangles and marker paper, some young hip thug dude guy was standing near me when his phone rang, and when he picked it up, he actually answered it: "where you at?"

i nearly lost my lunch. right there in aisle of art bins.


have a splendid week, everyone...


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Started school today...um-yesterday...won't have a computer for the rest of the week.

Things are dandy.

Back to Save the Universe

So Radiohead fever has begun again...and i'm definitely coming down with something!
(wasn't that clever...)

Firstly, thank you Dave for the heads up, Radiohead has their own blog! wow! You can see pictures taken by the members of each other, track their progress on their next album, and read Thom's ramblings on his lack of direction and lack of energy...which are surprisingly coherent, if you ask me. quoth Thom...
"everybodys wasted. expended i mean. energy wise i mean.
all in need of bowl of coco pops."
Just click here: Dead Air Space

This is a small semi-interesting article about their new album...thanks Myles.

And last, but not least, head on over here to check out an amazing new song; it's live, but very very beautiful...things just keep on getting better!

3 things...

1. Yesterday i blazed through a book called
Holes and thoroughly enjoyed it. A well-written children's book is such a treat to find these days! Often reading this, i was very surprised that it recieved so much praise and attention...only because parts of it are extremely violent and disturbing. But the story is enticing, and i've never read anything like it. Simple and complex, i recommend it as a companion for a good afternoon sit-down.

2. I am hopelessly addicted to Sudoku.

3. I finally watched the European version of Léon: The Professional and enjoyed it immensely. Far superior to the 20-minute shorter and less controversial American cut.

And there you are.