think of a wonderful thought

If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."
~ C.S. Lewis

how often does our life feel this way...?
...i think about this quote a lot. Quite a lot. especially when i am hit with the almost uncontrollable urge to fly.
yes, that's exactly what i said. sometimes i want to fly so badly i almost feel like i'm crawling out of my skin.

yesterday i was musing to Edan about how, at times, i could compare my thirst for flight to a desperate thirst for water. not being able to quench it feels unnatural, wrong, sometimes almost excruciating.
to which he replied: "I can fly."
i ignored him. "seriously, though...i really think--"
"I can fly," he said again.
"no you can't! i just wish--"
"yes I can"
i let out an aggrivated sigh. how dare he interrupt my lofty expoundings??
"I can! I can fly!"
"No you--" Suddenly i realized he was telling the truth. Sort of.
"Oh yea," i said. "You can fly a plane."
"yup!" he replied triumphantly.
"that doesn't count."

i have had so many dreams about being able to fly. sometimes when i can't sleep i imagine what it would be like to fly from my apartment so school, or to Pasadena where i could surprise my sister. i can be the star of my own heroic adventures...
i once thought up a pretty elaborate graphic novel about someone who discovers they can fly...but i never even drew a single picture. don't you dare steal that...i may just try to flesh it out someday!
i'm a little bit obsessed with it. but i don't talk about it much because...well, what's the point? at least being overly interested in things like clouds, cheese or Quenyan can serve some purpose to something...in that at least they exist...

anyway. this week i have badly wanted to fly. and it's been really frustrating because sometimes i literally feel like i'll explode. it's a terrible itch, a burning in my chest, a rock in the pit of my stomach...
if i could just push myself a few inches from the floor...


that's all i guess.
i'm going to go home now and draw all night. tomorrow's going to be fuuun...



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