Lord, i need your help. My abilities are so worthless and any strength i have so meaningless without you to guide it. I don't want to live only for my own gain...selfishly pursuing everything that i think will simply make me happy. But this world, this life, is not a happy place, and i'm not here to be happy. i'm here to discover that my only joy and purpose is found in you, Lord Jesus. I sit and wonder why i can't be producive, why i can't be outgoing, why i can't make myself better, and it's because i'm not asking you to help me. God, will i ever learn?

Lord you know what my desires are. You gave them to me. Actually, You know them a lot better than me right now...more than usual...because i don't even know what i want. Much less what i need.
What am i willing to give up? i don't know that either.
My art?
My music?
My "things"?
As much as i seek your direction, i'm afraid of it, Lord. And yet i know that You have only the perfect plans laid out for me.

Jesus, may i desire you above all else.
Above my longings, my materials and my flesh...

...and please grant me the ability to discern your voice from my own.