Thursday, May 25


it seems, as i am wont to do, that now that i'm on break i'm getting less sleep than i did when i was in school.


As i type this, wrapped in a quilt on the couch in the living room, staring out the huge glass window into the bright, cool morning, i have trouble placing my thoughts...

Sarah Laurel and i have been taking turns at night this week being grandma's help. Our night nurse, Mele, injured her arm at her hospital job. Yesterday i showered grandma...i used to do it before we even had caregivers coming here...before we even moved here. I don't know what it is...but the act of helping another person become clean is a feeling altogether unique.

Yesterday evening my family came face to face with a very dark spiritual reality...
Last night mom was talking to grandma at her bedside before she went to sleep and grandma told her that grandpa had been coming to visit her at night. May i just quickly say that my family is not at all unfamiliar with the forces of the enemy and his ways of manipulating our lives...we weren't necessarily taken aback, we've experienced stranger things...nor were we unsure of what to do.

Mom and dad told her immediately that what she was experiencing was not the presence of my grandfather. We explained to her that grandpa was in heaven...he is with the Lord...he can't come back. He wouldn't WANT to come back! Mom told her she wasn't to invite "him" to come into her room anymore. "In Jesus' name, leave me now" is what we told her to say. Not to converse with it...the last thing this family needs is just one foothold to put this house in even deeper darkness. We all gathered around her and prayed. It's strange that i'm not more afraid...actally i'm not afraid at all. After having already dealt with so much spiritual warfare in my own life it's not in my nature to be terrified...worried and disturbed, yes...but not fearful. We have a power in Christ greater than that of the enemy...

Just in general, grandma has been declining...physically and mentally. If it wasn't for other members of my family having felt a real sense of spiritual oppression this week, we might have just brushed last night off as something merely within my grandma's mind...but none of us got that sense from what she was saying.

Laurel Sarah and i stayed up long afterwards talking...well, i talked a little and then mostly listened to the other two as i drifted in and out of sleep until about 2am. now here i am.


We finished Laurel's engagement announcements yesterday. I started a painting of her. We've been having a Miyazaki marathon. Last night we started Princess Mononoke.

I'm very tired. All these goings-on have been the icing on an already many-layered cake of biittersweetness i've been consuming in the past few weeks.

maybe i'll try to sleep a little more...out morning caregiver should be here any minute.

if you like, you can pray for us. Of prayer, there can never be too much.


Jeff said...

I have made the decision to start a new blog. I deleted the Avalach one and I am in the process of building a new one.

See you tomorrow @ Oakbridge.

Nicole said...

Woah there neighbor! Laurel is getting married!?! to anyone I know? How exciting!!! I want to see pictures!!!