Thursday, October 25

i'm tired, Lord.

i'm frustrated with my self and not knowing how to handle what should be tolerable, if not simple, normalcy.

usually i'm content to not be around anyone...but today, right now, i'm so scared of being alone. i just don't want to be alone.

When one's mind swings so wildly from side to side a great many times a day it's hard to keep track of the time. But you still want to smile, walk, see the people you love, get work done. And you try, even if it means not saying what you need to...breathing the bad air...sitting quiet and motionless in front of your easel with a pencil in your hand. You can hear the clock ticking, there is no one in the studio but you, but still you don't play any music because you don't want to get tired of your favorite songs...

i don't even know what i'm waiting for. i guess i'm just waiting to feel worthy of inspiration again.


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