Twas the night before Christmas...

and all down the hall,
grandpa's sneeze echoed,
a primal scream call.

Twas the night before Christmas...
and out in the kitchen,
mom's making cheesecake,
that's sure to be bitchin'.

Twas the night before Christmas...
and under the fake tree,
the Puppy leaves presents
for you and for me.

Twas the night before Christmas...
and there on my floor,
lay all of my gifts,
unwrapped by the door.

My grandparents nestled
all snug in their bed,
all bathed and all clean
for the long day ahead.

Grandma will dream
of cookies and flowers,
while Grandpa will dwell
on how much he hates showers.

Mom will continue
to slave through the night,
preparing the house
like a wee Christmas sprite.

Sarah sits bent
in her computer chair,
creating my gift
sure to give me a scare.

Twas the night before Christmas...
i stop and i ponder
the things in life of which
i hate, and grow fonder.

The love of my family
such security there,
and yet here is where i oft
feel most despair.

The bonding of friends
a warming embrace,
and yet they can give you
a slap in the face.

The outstretching future
so clear and so bright,
and yet all i see
is a dark endless night.

Twas the night before Christmas...
i tell my reflection,
you're part of a plan,
one which needs no projection.

You surely can't see all
or all purpose find,
pray for what ails you,
in body and mind.

Twas the night before Christmas...
retorting i say,
i cannot see 'fore me
and i cannot pray.

I abhor my blindness
i curse my weak will,
Forever i feel bound
to here suffer still.

Twas the night before Christmas...
a divine palm slapped me,
a Godly foot kicked me,
celestial hands grabbed me.

I can't rid myself
of what boils within,
i can't reach inside me
and tear out my sin.

I can't control people
i can't control she
i can control how
i let Him control me.

Twas the night before Christmas...
and i sit in shame,
how could i ever
have denied His name?

How many times
must i wander away,
and let him pick me up
and I'll finally stay?

Tomorrow i want
to think of Him solely,
as i sing as i speak
may he keep the day holy.

It's easy to become
a sad lonely person
who finds Christmas dismal,
and lets each year worsen.

Twas the night before Christmas...
a little more peaceful
a little more joyful
a little more grateful

I find my self feeling
and i say without spite,
Merry Christmas to all
and to all a good night.

love, colleen(:

This Morning

White noise hushes footsteps
Dim light summons drowsiness
As quietly i creep along pristine boards
past pink and scarlett rosebuds
A silent breath comes through the open windows
billowing the curtains
chilly and exciting
Sunlight splashes on the pure white comforter
cutting the cool darkness
a strip of light across her face
upon her red gold greying hair
stirring in the soundless flow
She sleeps so soundly
Breathes so deeply
Curled so tightly
she's a little girl again
Were she my own child i might stroke her face
and kiss her temple
as she did to me
And yet i stay my hand
to wake her would be cruel
and so i steal away
swallowing tears
chasteining my fears and doubting
I am not a little girl
i can't always be this way
I will always be this way
While there's ever life in me
I'll be so glad she's home
I am so glad she's home.